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Amber
Feb 19, 2011 11:47:31 GMT -5
Post by Syani on Feb 19, 2011 11:47:31 GMT -5
"Oh, I see," Syani nodded in acknowledgement of this Jake's person blood-relation to Mitsuko. When the angel began talking about this other person besides the old couple she was living with as a child, the half-vampire's interest sparked in her eyes.
"Wow. Because of the fact you remember his existence itself while BEING an amnesiac, he must've been a very important to you.." Syani pondered with a finger on her chin, then smiled at the angel's request to keep this information a secret.
"Oh no worries, I may be a blabbermouth, but since I have no idea how your brother even looks like, your secret's pretty much safe!" The black-haired laughed. Being secretive isn't really her forte, but the secret's very safe when she didn't have a reason to spill it.
"Do you remember what happened to him, though?"
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Amber
Feb 19, 2011 15:58:46 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2011 15:58:46 GMT -5
"!" She paused for a good few minutes. It was obvious that it was a tough subject for her, but since the angel did bring it up and she brought it up with a very good friend she mustered up her strength and continued.
"I really don't know what happened to him. I... I wish I did, all I do know however is that I.. was very close to him. I just hope that he is okay and that he is making the most out of his life. Aside from my brothers he was the only other person that was a part of my life... I came across a sketch the other day in my book and he does look familiar but the name... I need his name...."
She took out one of her old sketch books that she had in her bag and she dusted off way from Syani, since dust can cause allergies to some people, and the angel wanted to be respectful. "Let's see..." She started to flip through the really old pages of the sketch book, and you can tell that it was very old. The wear and tear had became apparent, and the binding part of the book was a little bit bent and torn.
What was keeping her sketch book together, was masking tape and a little bit of glue.
Mitsuko was so determined to share this sketch with Syani, and when she finally found it she stared at it for a few minutes. The name of this young boy that was in the corner of the picture was smudged and barely readable, as at that time Mitsuko had used an old fashioned quill and ink to write with.
"I signed it, after I finished creating the picture, and put his name on it and everything... but it is all smudged and hard to make out... probably from all... my tears..."
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Amber
Feb 20, 2011 8:00:42 GMT -5
Post by Syani on Feb 20, 2011 8:00:42 GMT -5
Syani blinked, believing she had struck something crucial here as the topic. Once Mitsuko finally opened up to the issue, the half-vampire's eyebrows arched high. "Wow... How...mysterious.."
Syani can't help but to phase that word in a slightly whispery tone to indicate how positively intrigued she is with the angel's story. She then scooted nearer to Mitsuko when the sketchbook was pulled out from the safety of her bag. The black-haired skimmed her eyes through the pages as Mitsuko flipped it one by one, and by what she's seeing, she can tell that sketchbook is very VERY old.
"Oh.." Syani slightly gasped as she stared at the sketch of a little boy there. She stared at the picture when Mitsuko explained of what happened to the name she's written. Indeed, it was smeared so badly, Syani can't even tell the initial letter of the name.
"Ahw..Mitsuko..." Very uncharacteristically, the half-vampire leaned over to give the angel a half-hug. As much as Syani detests physical contacts, a friend in need is enough for her to break her usual rule. "That's okay, don't worry.. I'm sure you'll not only remember his name soon, but even finding him some day. Fate twists itself rather weirdly, you'll never know."
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Amber
Feb 20, 2011 8:34:55 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2011 8:34:55 GMT -5
"Yes I believe what you're saying Syani. It's kind of funny though how each time I get close to a person who I really love and care about, something always happens and then they just.... go without saying good bye, however at the same time... I don't blame them since whatever happened, to Jake, Kankorou, Neiji, and the boy in that sketch, was probably beyond their control."
"I was always afraid that once people have heard about my past bonds and relationships, they would then judge me and say Mitsuko you should join a convent! Not have to worry about love from guys, but only the love of god."
The young angel didn't mean to bog Syani down with all her emotions, it is just that as she regains part of her memory, the more emotional it becomes for her-- and people who know Mitsuko, they know that she hardly ever gets sad, but when she does it is for a reason.
Her faith in god is strong so she always kept that in her heart to always go through her days, as she discovers her memories, but this boy..... He wasn't a lover of hers, he was someone that is considered to be her other best friend, someone she grew up with. though for right now, she knew that she had to be positive and patient, because fate did work in mysterious ways like Syani said. Fate did bring Neji into her life, and even Jake and Kankorou.
"So... How about you Syani? I am coming back to my original question that I asked you earlier. How are things with you and your special beau?" She giggled a bit. "Now it is time for you to tell me your love story."
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Amber
Feb 20, 2011 14:00:00 GMT -5
Post by Syani on Feb 20, 2011 14:00:00 GMT -5
Syani can't help but to wince when Mitsuko stated that everyone she genuinely likes kept disappearing. In all honesty, the half-vampire doesn't know how to respond to that, it must have been extremely painful to her, yet the angel takes it optimistically, and she didn't even blame them.
So there Syani sat, watching how Mitsuko let out everything that's been bothering her, and only managed an apologetic look as a response, "I'm sure you know if this, but everything happens for a reason. It might make you stronger, it might make you realize things you never thought of before...or it might just open the doors of chances. The possibilities are endless."
Being herself, Syani isn't really good at comforting people, nor giving out advices. Though she is rather talented in stating her thoughts out without any restrictions, which is what she's currently doing. All she could do to help Mitsuko now is to listen, because everyone needs an ear once in a while.
Syani's face expression considerably dropped when the angel made a complete U-turn back to the topic Syani so desperately tries to avoid, "Oh. Uh.. c-c'mon, I'm more comfortable in listening rather than talking for now, actually!" Her face began to redden, out of embarrassment of the topic probably. Syani never really likes to participate in such a conversation. ...Or maybe it's because she never even once take part in a topic like this.
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Amber
Feb 20, 2011 14:42:13 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2011 14:42:13 GMT -5
"But I am curious! I am a hopeless romantic and I love to hear about other people's romantic lives. You heard about my tragedy I am sure you are having better luck then I have had. though I can tell you one thing... If you didn't love you're beau you wouldn't have stayed with him... Love brings surprises to our lives... Things that we didn't expect. And you didn't expect to fall in love did you?"
She looked at Syani, and took both hands in hers. "Love isn't something to be ashamed of. It is something to be appreciated no matter where it comes from. It is the most beautiful thing there is in life, and it doesn't have to always be romantic love, it can even be the love from friends in which could be considered beautiful."
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Amber
Feb 20, 2011 15:44:29 GMT -5
Post by Syani on Feb 20, 2011 15:44:29 GMT -5
Syani stared at Mitsuko helplessly, how can she avoid THIS face? 'Oh believe me, I did not expect it at ALL..' her mind chanted along to one of Mitsuko's statements. Then the angel holds both of Syani's hands, to further strengthen her views, and all Syani could do is to stare at her like a cat being forced to eat dog food.
"Of...course.." she finally spoke up, though it seems as if she's restraining to. "But even the most beautiful thing....can be rather....scary for some people." Syani sweatdropped with a guilty grin on her lips, "I mean, I acknowledge of how powerful and important it is but... ...Have you heard of the word philophobia before? It's the strangest thing, yet it's thoroughly possible."
Possible because Syani's one of those people who were blessed(or cursed) to possess it.
"..Or maybe I'm more to erotophobia.."
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Amber
Feb 20, 2011 15:58:07 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2011 15:58:07 GMT -5
"I haven't heard of that word before, at all in my life.. but I do know that people can be afraid of love and commitment. You're strong Syani... Can you imagine how you make your boyfriend feel because you allowed him into your life? You probably make his heart soar. As you get older you get to appreciate things more. I am so happy for you and because of that, as well as my own curiosity, your story means a lot."
"Sure love isn't always happy go lucky, it can have its dramatic moments, but that is the strength, of the relationship. Even if you are afraid to be in a relationship, I don't think that the one you care about will judge you. I know I don't. I accept you for who you are, but at the same time, try and keep your heart open."
The angel smiled and then let go of her hands gently.
"Though if you have any questions I can help you answer them by giving you guidance."
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Amber
Feb 22, 2011 6:32:02 GMT -5
Post by Syani on Feb 22, 2011 6:32:02 GMT -5
Syani heaved out a sigh again, but this time almost in defeat, because what Mitsuko said is thoroughly right. The half-vampire literally took a moment to think it through seriously, she always takes everything for granted and she never really paid attention to how it looks from his eyes.
"It.....scared the crap out of me," Syani heaved out a sigh, 'it' being the relationship. "It STILL scares the crap out of me, but...at least now I know it's...important. It's very...important.." She said right after Mitsuko released her hands. The half-vampire has her head down, but her eyes searched for direction as she looks at the angel in the eyes.
"Ah man....this is embarrassing," pulling up her legs, Syani hides her face behind her propped-up knees. "Do you REALLY want to hear the story..?" she asked half-heartedly, peeking her eyes from her hiding spot. Just thinking about it made her flushed, its absolutely mortifying.
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Amber
Feb 22, 2011 13:42:48 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2011 13:42:48 GMT -5
Mitsuko nodded and then stared at Syani's body language. It was obvious that she was embarrassed to talk about it though hopefully what Mitsuko says next will help her feel a bit better.
"You know Syani, if it makes you feel just a little better I was scared of love too. Even though I didn't show that I was afraid. When I first met Neji in herbology class I remember striking a conversation with him. I was nervous at first since he wasn't exactly an approachable person.I thought that he would be rude and mean because of the exterior that he gave off... though when we started talking we connected instantly and became friends. Almost everyone that knew him was surprised since he was acting out of his element".
"And remember I was still new to DD so I really didn't know him. I just went with his first impression that he gave off. Though.. When we got to know each other he was the one that started to fall in love with me, and I started to fall in love with him. I was so happy that I had got my first boyfriend, but I was also scared.... I was scared that we wouldn't make it, and the truth was, we did make it. We had a great two years together. And those are the times I want to remember."
She stopped for a bit and then looked to the sky before she spoke again.
"And even though we broke up, that doesn't mean I can stop loving him. There are things that I taught him, and there are things that he taught me. I taught him to love, to be open. He taught me to be strong, be brave. Even though you are afraid of it there are things that you can learn from the relationships. Your first love is never an easy one but it is something that is precious.
If Neiji were to come back into my life today, for example I would not take him back, since it is better for me not to be in a romantic relationship. And that is just my own preference. Just talking with you has brought me to that conclusion, let the love find me... if it does then it does, but if it doesn't then that is okay too since I can survive on the love from my friends, and my family."
"So am I scared of love? No. Not anymore. Because I know that love is a good thing, and even though it can cause heart break... it can only make us stronger. Love has brought me so many good memories..."
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Amber
Feb 23, 2011 12:05:42 GMT -5
Post by Syani on Feb 23, 2011 12:05:42 GMT -5
Syani blinked at Mitsuko's confession, then slowly loosen up her hiding spot when the angel continued on of how her first love goes. It actually astonished Syani how the angel remembered that one class during their first meeting, how they both connected, how it all takes root and blooms into a beautiful relationship.
The half-vampire listened in wonder of the tale, her eyes wide as Mitsuko paused to stare up at the sky for a while. Like she expected, the tale turned downhill from there, and Syani could only wonder how much pain Mitsuko must have felt to loose someone who's so very special to her.
Yet, she's still thankful of what happened. That's what surprises Syani the most.
In the end, the black-haired had lifted an unconscious smile when Mitsuko ended her tale. Maybe it's her choice of words on how she conclude it, or maybe it's that content look on her face that she has learnt so much through all the pain.
"You're really REALLY strong.." Syani muttered out, barely audible, as she props back up her knees to slowly get inside that wall of hers again. "Actually, that's rather inspiring... Thank you for sharing.." it seemed like her voice fades off a bit with every word said, it almost disappeared completely at the end. She's thinking... She's trying to emulate how the angel felt after loosing someone precious to her, and Mitsuko has gone through the same thing TWICE, too. That's why she said "really" twice earlier.
"You're so open about these things, I'm...surprised.. Hahah," that laugh didn't even sound like one, she sounded distracted too. Probably because she's still thinking of something.
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Amber
Feb 23, 2011 15:17:22 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2011 15:17:22 GMT -5
She paused. Mitsuko was strong to have gone through romantic love twice. And then just losing them in the end. Sure it hurt but that didn't mean that she shouldn't give love to other people, even if it wasn't romantic.
Love is important and what was most important to the angel was giving the love to people, to comfort them and to let them that they are important. Even if she was hurting in the inside- she would not just shut herself out of showing other people how she really felt.
However..... She missed him very much just as much as she missed her brothers. The feeling of missing someone that she cared about, just broke her heart, and her heart won't ever heal until she finds that missing piece.
"I have experienced romantic love twice... Love from my brothers as love from family.... There is one other person I love who I really missed. He is like a brother to me but he was with me when I was so lonely.... When I had no one else besides my god parents, the old couple that I was staying with. My blood brothers was gone as I mentioned because of our separation."
"Though you know what hurts? I never ever got a chance to say to him that I love him as a sister, and that I will see him soon... Everything just happened so fast....."
Her voice cracked a bit and she turned away.
"I miss my brothers, and I miss Z-" She nearly said his name but it is at the tip of her tongue.
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Amber
Feb 24, 2011 13:39:15 GMT -5
Post by Syani on Feb 24, 2011 13:39:15 GMT -5
"You love him as a sister?? Wait..how long was it again did you spent time with him?" Syani seriously thought that the boy in her sketchbook was her childhood sweetheart or some sort. Having no one in life during the phases of childhood is excruciatingly hollow. Syani felt it herself, and she certainly does not like it.
But the half-vampire has a rabbit to keep her company at least, while Mitsuko has that boy. 'Maybe he's her Cik Nab..' she thought, now remembering back the feeling when her pet died. The loss felt so horrible, chibi-Syani won't eat for days. What's worst is the following days that came after just doesn't feel the same at all.
"I understand what you mean..." Syani spoke blankly, now feeling that same heavy anchored force that's burdening her heart. She never thought she would feel it again, and for that moment, she's holding that same expression as Mitsuko's. The only difference being that Syani's easily distracted.
"Z..?" the half-vampire repeated, her eyes shone back in its curious flicker. Syani gave a pause, and then said, "See. I can just feel it that fate's going to dump him to you in the face very soon."
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Amber
Feb 24, 2011 19:06:55 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2011 19:06:55 GMT -5
Her memories began flooding back and it started to rain. Mitsuko has always believed that rain stood for blessing and renewal of the spirit. She covered her mouth as tears rolled down her cheek.
"Zero.... Syani... His name is Zero.. I can't believe it... I remember everything....He was the first person I nursed and took care of.. And I was his first best friend... I sang to him... I held his hand when he was getting well... I stayed up late just to take care of him. It was only for a month but we bonded. He eased my loneliness, when I had no one else besides my god parents. He needed the type of love from someone who cares... That sisterly love. I made him feel important... And I need him back in my life.
The love that she felt for him was platonic. Even if it didn't sound that way it was. The angel gave the love that he lacked through out his child hood. She treasured him just like she treasured her brothers. And keep in mind that she expresses her love and caring nature with her whole heart, even though it is platonic, love.
"I love: Him for who is, I Accept him for who he is even though he is a hot head My mind may have forgotten who he is to me, but my heart didn't. My first shining star."
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Amber
Feb 27, 2011 10:37:23 GMT -5
Post by Syani on Feb 27, 2011 10:37:23 GMT -5
"Eh?" Syani completely casts down her defense when she saw what looked like tears rolling down the angel's cheeks. She thought it must've been the setting sun glistening her skin beautifully, but then when the half-vampire leaved forward a bit to take a better look, it was indeed tears.
"Oh.. Oh!" Syani outburst in surprise, now aware the reason of those tears...is her memories. For Syani, that is a very good reason. When Mitsuko had recalled his name, the half-vampire has a hard time to constrain herself from going 'Zero?? That's a weird name', but just hearing how the angel spoke about the boy made her smile. It sounds so sweet, he's almost like her childhood sweetheart.
"I'm...glad..that you finally remembered him, Mitsuko.." That would make it easier for her to find him, every bit of information is important. "I bet he'll be glad to hear those words you just uttered, I'm sure!" Syani paused for a bit, a bit of uncertainty clouded her eyes. By how Mitsuko described him, the half-vampire can't help but to wonder, "..Is he REALLY just a friend??"
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